I think I’ve inspired my mother, y’all. A friend of hers is visiting from out of town and the three of us were drinking wine the other night and chatting. You know, girl time. We were talking about my divorce since this was news to her friend. It was a very nice, open discussion and her friend was telling me how much happier and healthier I looked since I saw her last, about 2 year ago. We were talking about how marriages can be difficult when my mother began to give us an example of an incident she’d had with my father recently.
Apparently, while driving, they were arguing over business matters (they own a small business together) when things got really heated and my dad blurted out that my mother should just divorce him (sounding very similar to my personal story, actually. What a “coincidence.”). My mother said that she agreed and then proceeded to tell him the plan that they should go about doing it (again, sounding very similar to my story). She gave him a very thorough step by step plan on how they would sell their business and divide the earnings (she is an extremely finance savvy accountant and their business’ CFO). She then explained how she and I and my kids (of course she never consulted me) would move out of the city and start another small business where we could live a simple, comfortable life. According to my mother, they sat in silence for awhile after and my dad eventually apologized for yelling at her and saying things he didn’t mean. He apparently explained to her that she triggered him because he grew up listening to nagging from his own mother and hates when he feels my mother nags him.
As she was telling us this story, she had a gleaming smile on her face and a look of pride. Of course, I do not wish divorce on my parents or on anyone, as it is proving to be a long, emotionally draining, arduous process for me. And I don’t think at their age, divorce is something that either of them would truly and honestly think about. It was just a reaction in an argument (not an acceptable one, but not uncommon, I’m sure). It just gives me a little bit of happiness that maybe I’ve inspired her to stand up for herself, to use her voice, to show what she is unwilling to put up with anymore. We all laughed. We would have never had this conversation a few years ago.